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Autistic Burnout: When Your Spoons Run Out

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By Steph Vialle (Provisional Psychologist)

If you’re autistic and have been feeling more exhausted, emotionally drained, and struggling to cope with everyday life, you might be experiencing autistic burnout. It’s not just regular tiredness or stress; it’s a deeper, more prolonged state of exhaustion and depletion that can impact every aspect of your life. If this sounds familiar, please know you’re not alone. Heaps of autistic people experience burnout, and it’s something researchers are starting to understand better. We can even use the metaphor of "Spoon Theory" to help us understand and manage it.

Understanding Spoon Theory

Spoon Theory is a way of explaining the limited energy reserves that many people with chronic illnesses or disabilities, including autistic people, experience. Imagine you start each day with a handful of spoons. Every action, interaction, or experience requires energy, using up some of your spoons. For neurotypical people, everyday tasks may only cost one spoon. However, for autistic people, activities like socialising, masking, and managing sensory overload require additional spoons on top of the energy needed for regular tasks. When our spoons are gone, we’re left with exhaustion. This helps explain why autistic people can sometimes seem to “run out of steam” more quickly than others.

What is Autistic Burnout?

Autistic burnout is a state of intense physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion specifically experienced by autistic individuals. It’s often triggered by the chronic stress of navigating a world that isn’t always designed for our neurology. As we just discussed with Spoon Theory, everyday activities can drain our limited energy reserves, and if this keeps happening for some time it can lead to burnout.

This can include things like:

1.      Sensory Overload: The constant bombardment of sights, sounds, smells, and textures can be overwhelming and use our spoons quickly. A trip to the shops or a noisy family gathering can leave us feeling completely spent.

2.      Social Masking: The effort of, consciously or unconsciously, hiding our autistic traits and trying to fit in can be incredibly draining. Constantly adjusting and controlling how we express ourselves, our needs, and our preferences to meet the expectations of others can take a toll, using up precious spoons and leaving us with little energy for anything else.

3.      Unaccommodating Environments: Living in a world that often doesn't understand or support our needs can lead to chronic stress and exhaustion. Constantly having to advocate for ourselves or adapt to neurotypical expectations can quickly deplete our spoon supply.

Recognising the Signs – Are You Running Low on Spoons?

Autistic burnout can appear in different ways, but some common signs include:

  • Extreme fatigue and exhaustion, even after a good night’s sleep.

  • Increased difficulty with executive functioning, like planning and organising – even simple tasks can feel overwhelming.

  • Withdrawal from social situations and activities you usually enjoy – you might find yourself wanting to stay home and recharge your spoons.

  • Heightened sensory sensitivities – everyday noises and lights might feel unbearable.

  • Increased meltdowns or shutdowns – when your spoons are completely gone, you might experience a meltdown or shutdown.

  • Less capacity to mask or camouflage autistic traits – you might find it harder to “act neurotypical” when you feel you need to.

What Can You Do? Replenishing Your Spoons

If you think you might be experiencing autistic burnout, here are a few things you can try:

  • Prioritise Rest: Give yourself permission to rest and recharge your spoons. This might mean having a ‘stay in bed day,’ cancelling plans, or just saying “no” to things that drain your energy.

  • Reduce Sensory Input: Create a calming environment for yourself by minimising sensory overload. This could involve using noise-cancelling headphones, dimming lights, or finding a quiet space to retreat to and recover some spoons.

  • Embrace Your Autistic Identity: Surround yourself with accepting and understanding people who appreciate you for who you are. This can help reduce the need for masking and save your spoons for things you enjoy.

  • Seek Professional Support: If you’re struggling to cope with autistic burnout, consider seeking support from a therapist who understandings autistic burnout. This is particularly important as strategies often used to treat things like depression may be unhelpful initially, and it is important for you, your supporters, and clinicians to be on the same page in understanding what is happening for you. They can help you develop strategies for managing your spoons and preventing or recovering from burnout.

You’re Not Alone

Remember, autistic burnout is a real and valid experience. It’s not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a natural consequence of living in a world that isn’t always designed for your needs. By understanding autistic burnout, recognising the signs, and taking steps to care for yourself, you can navigate these challenging times and reclaim your well-being.

Important Note: This information is for general knowledge and doesn't replace professional advice. Self-diagnosing can sometimes mean missing other important issues. If you're concerned about your well-being, it's always a good idea to chat with a qualified health professional. They can give you personalised support and make sure you're getting the right help.

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